08: Thundertree

That morning the group climbs aboard Karendil’s wagon and he drives them out of Phandalin and towards the High Road.  Embra sends Mara and Arlo off to the Dwarvenlands to report that Cragmaw is open to House Ironhaven for restoration and fortification.  The whole party notices that there is a considerable lightness to the forest now; it is less ominous and still than it was when the group first arrived in the area—clearly a sign that the group’s efforts at clearing evil out of the region is paying off.

At midday the group stops for lunch and Steve forages a hearty meal for them.  Afterwards they continue until they reach the junction connecting to the High Road and find a suitable camping spot overlooking the area.  Their sleep is interrupted around dawn when the party is attacked by a small group of Stirges.  After they dispatch the pests Halstead makes breakfast for them and the group drives onto the High Road and makes for Thundertree.

The group arrives at the ruins of Thundertree in the afternoon and notice the area is eerily quiet.  Alongside the path entering town is a wooden sign that reads:

DANGER: PLANT MONSTERS AND ZOMBIES
TURN BACK NOW

There is more writing on the sign that is indecipherable to everyone but Steve.  He reads the script and says, “The druid’s here. The message says ‘Brother or Sister: this sign is serious—there are dangerous monsters in the town.'”

The group elects to push forward and begin the painstaking task of clearing out the small town building-by-building.  They are confronted by undead at the ruins of the Brown Horse Inn, victims of the volcanic eruption ages ago who are coated with choking ash.  Embra’s first strike bursts up a cloud of ash that sends her into spasms of coughing and sneezing. The combat inside the dilapidated inn is savage and protracted, but the group prevails and moves on to two abandoned domiciles.  Davron activates his magic vision and at the second residence the group is ambushed by a squad of Twig Blights.  The group thwarts the deadly ambush, fighting valiantly until the final Blight is demolished.  They secure the abandoned home and rest there before moving on.

MIA: Jeffrey

• 3 Stirges
• 6 Undead
• 8 Twig Blights

• 90gp
• 160sp
• 700cp

80XP (2780XP total)

• SWEETOS OMGWTF
  
• The cask of high-dollar brandy found by the party has been delivered to the Stonehill Inn and is to be referred to as “The Cragmaw Special” when a shot is ordered by any member of the party.  The first shot is free for them.
• Off-Brand Potions
  Shiv:  We have this fuckin’ elf out there that’s got the map, and lord knows whatever other magical shit she grabbed out from underneath the bed.
  DM:  Two potions; you do know that.
  Shiv:   Right, but it could be like Die To The Death Of Evil Potion™.  I mean, we have mayonnaise and…
  DM:  I’m not sure that’s in this game.
• Not Moving Fast Enough
  Shiv:  *cracking up* It’s gonna be 11:00 and we’re gonna have not gone anywhere!
  DM:  We’re goin’ right now bitch shut up!
• Bard The Half-Assed Bowman
  Davron:  Jory sleeps.
  Jory:  Naw, man I’m—*mimes bow and arrow*.
  Embra:  “I’ve got an arrow drawn the entire time, guys.”
  Jory:  I wanna attach a string to it so I don’t have to go fetch it.
• Karendil’s Wagon
  Embra:   It’s an uncovered wagon?
  DM: *nods*
  Embra:  Okay, so it’s a regular freight wagon.
  Shiv:  It’s not Little House On The Prairie.
  Embra:  Not a Conestoga Wagon…
  DM: You have died of dysentery.
• I Got Your Sixxx…xxxcept I Don’t.
  Embra:  *prepares to enter building*  Okay, who’s behind me?  Who’s got my back?
  Jory:  I’ve got your back.
  Embra:  Okay, I burst in the door.
  DM:  Okay there’s a back door but this is clearly the front to the inn.
  Jory:  Oh, there’s a back door?
  DM: *points to map* Here’s the back door.
  Embra:  Of course you would ask that.
  DM:  Would you rather go…in the back door, Jory?
  Jory:  I think I would.
  Embra:  Uh…
  Shiv:  Balls out…
  Embra: …in the back door?
  *Embra rushes in through front door, is confronted by zombies.*
  Embra:  Jory, you’re fucking fired.
• Go Upstairs And Put On Some Lotion!
  Embra: *strikes a zombie and gets coated in a film of ash*  Great.  So now I look like Ashy Larry.
  Shiv: It puts the lotion on it’s skin!
  Jory: Dem bones dem bones dem dry bones.
• Humankindless
  “I can’t human right now, I just can’t.  Or even half-elf.”
  — Karendil, texting the DM to let him know he’s too exhausted from work to play.
• Lord of Dust
  Jory:  Tuesday’s my surgery; today’s my last day of gaming for at least…
  Shiv:  So we’re just going to leave Jory there to rebuild Thundertree?
  Davron:  Jory, you’re the Mayor of Thundertree!
  Embra:  Yeah, get this shit sorted…here’s a broom.